My dad passed away on Dec. 20, 2011. Five days before Christmas. We all knew it was coming, but it didn't make it any easier to handle. I'm still struggling with it, even if I don't cry every single day like I did in those first few weeks.
There's nothing that can prepare you for the amount of grief you feel when you lose someone you love, especially a parent. A fellow blogger friend of mine puts it into words better than me. She also lost a parent to cancer recently.
But the bottom line is, I'm trying to find my new "normal." The death of my father has made my life anything but "normal," but I'm trying.
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things at work.
I'm trying to be social with my friends.
I'm trying to be happy with my new puppy (more on her later).
I'm trying to be a good girlfriend.
I'm trying to live with my little sister again.
I'm trying to eat healthy and work out more.
I'm trying to get ready for this year's Relay For Life event.
And some days, I feel like I'm failing. Sometimes, maybe failing at just one of those things. Other days, I feel like I'm failing at all of those. But thank God for the love and support of my family and friends. I say that a lot, but I mean it more than I can say. Because without them, I really would be failing at all of those things, all the time.
I have an amazing boyfriend who puts up with a lot of my crap. I have a little sister who is a lot stronger and wiser than she lets on to be. I have a friend who checks in with me daily to see how my day is going (which helps me more than she knows). I have an aunt who looks out for me. I have my "adopted" parents who take care of all the business/paperwork that I don't want to or feel like dealing with. I have friends, co-workers and a boss who are understanding. I have friends at SCC that I didn't even know about until my father's death was announced. I have other friends who have stepped up when I didn't ask them to.
These people are amazing, and I'm not even mentioning all of them. I can't say thank you enough.
But what I'm saying to you, my readers, and friends, is that I'm trying, and I'm doing my best. I may not be at my best right now, but bare with me. I'll get back to being my best again some day soon.
For now, I'll leave you with a few photos of my new puppy, Bailey, who I've been wanting to blog about but haven't had the time to do so. And while she is the source for a lot of my frustration when she is chewing on my new shoes or making messes on the carpet, she is also the source for a lot of happiness right now where there usually wouldn't be.